May 23, 2005

Windypops / I Fucking Hate London


This site is turning into the Brighton Weather Report. Weekend was not long enough, and scampi does not last long enough either. I am actually applying for other jobs, which is surely a sign of how pissed off I am with the existing state of affairs. I've been honest with my manager, so she's now fully aware that I don't like my job, and I'm now fully aware that there's not really an awful lot that can be done about that unfortunately. Ah well, it's kind of what I expected. Still, at least I don't feel like a traitor, or as if I'm harbouring some guilty little secret. It's all out in the open and I feel pleasantly purged.


It's still a crap job though.

Roll on, err, anything else.

Congratulations again to Jimmy Greaves bastard son, whose dashing visage is now gracing the zenith of my sidebar. I'm going to have to have a regular competition, so some of you other chaps and chapettes have the chance to use my blog as advertising space. Yep, that's a good idea.


Looks kind of like a big boil doesn't it?

I was thinking about London over the weekend. I don't really know why as I thoroughly despise the place. Strangely though, I don't think that badly of it at present. The only reason for this is that I haven't been there for any length of time in about two years. However, thinking about it for a prolonged period of time did bring back some haunting memories, and semi-refreshed for me the hurt of my time there. So I was thinking, and I tried to catalogue some of my most horrible times there (probably in an attempt to convince my subconscious to never ever allow me, subconsciously of course, to go back there), and I came up with a meaty old list. I'm not going to go into details, as lots of things that happened are extremely personal and I would never dream of talking about them on here, but what I can do on here is compile a list of my most hated places in London. So here are my top five. If I never return to these places I will be a happy man.

OXFORD STREET - Hell on Earth. Big, horrible and ugly. Goes on forever. It really does. Too many fucking people. Too many buses. Too many shops. Just too much stuff. If I can blow it up I'll go back. But only if I can blow it up.

ELEPHANT & CASTLE - Disgusting ugly weird coloured roundabout land of scum. What is the purpose of this place?

TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD - The whole stretch from Warren Street tube to that ridiculous Queen musical/pizza parlour corner near the Astoria (which is actually good) is, like Oxford Street, fucking awful. Except this time it's littered with crappy electrical shops. Can I blow this up as well?

CAMDEN TOWN TUBE STATION - A strange choice, you might think, but I have my reasons. Camden is rubbish anyway apart from the odd bar, the odd pub, the canal and the market, but the tube is something else. I don't know about anyone else, but every time I've ever had the misfortune to have to go there, I've either been knocked over, pushed over, thumped, whacked, robbed or manhandled. And the place is full of fucking weirdo drug-dealers (in some places a bonus, but not here).

HACKNEY - I know that this is supposed to be at the hub of the East End regeneration program, and yes, the Town Hall, the library, the Empire and Ocean (which appears to have closed. Ha!) are all very nice, and if you have £500,000 available to buy yourself a 2-bedroom townhouse in a row of 18th century listed buildings then it's probably absolutely wicked, but we lived slap bang in the middle of this craphole, and I can categorically state from personal experience that Hackney must be firebombed immediately. As well as being full of nutters (Item 1: mental patients murdering joggers, Item 2: nutbar holds longest siege in British history about 50 metres from our front door), and having the highest murder rate from shootings in this fair isle, it is also home to Brass Goods Man and the most violent tramps I've ever seen, AND it's neighboured by Bethnal Green, Dalston, Clapton, and Mile End. Never again.

I would like everyone to list their most hated places in London. If you're not from London, or you've never been to London (good for you!) feel free to pretend. I'm not giving out medals for honesty here.

I love spreading the hate!

(Nb. London does have some good bits. I just forgot all of them.)

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