The Build Up

It's been raining all day again today, yet strangely it didn't smell like the sea. It could have been something to do with being stuck inside an air-conditioned building all day with my hands glued to a keyboard and my eyeballs hanging out of their sockets due to the mundanity of it all. Sometimes air-con systems magnify the smell of the outdoors, but not in this place. I think The Company have installed an artificial atmosphere and have started pumping brain-addling cow tranquilisers into the air supply. That would explain a lot.

The day that any of this makes sense to me shall be a momentous day indeed.

Things seem to be building up a bit, and I have generated a fair old backlog of things to cover, so it's best that I make a start before the backlog starts to develop a backlog. Then I'll be well and truly fucked.

So on we trudge:

A Recipe from Heaven

NB. DO STEPS 1 TO 4 AT THE SAME TIME, OR IN WHICHEVER ORDER YOU LIKE, JUST DON'T LET THE PASTA AND PEAS GET OVERCOOKED.

1.) Take some Garganelli pasta and a large handful of garden peas and chuck them into a pan of boiling water until they are cooked.

2.) Rip up a couple of generous handfuls of mint and basil, and stir them into 200ml of low fat creme fraiche in a bowl. Squeeze the juice of half a lemon in too and stir it up.

3.) Brown a handful of pine nuts on both sides in a frying pan. No oil!

4.) Cook some chopped up turkey breast in a pan and then drain off all the excess water and fat.

5.) Strain the pasta and peas, place a large bundle of fresh washed spinach in the bottom of the pan that you've just strained the pasta/peas from, then chuck the pasta/peas back into the pan on top of the spinach. Stir it all together.

6.) Put the creme fraiche/basil/mint mixture into the pan and stir it all together with everything else.

7.) Finally, add the browned pine nuts, then stir it all together again.

8.) Put loads of pepper in, let it cook up for a miunte or two, then serve and enjoy as it's bloody tasty!

My First Meme

Thankyou to Jamie, who at long last has gone and done it, and taken my Meme virginity. I am deflowered.

The Last CD I Bought Was:
Brendan Benson - Alternative To Love

I didn't buy it for myself but for the missus. It's very good, but apparently he's shite live. Shame that.

Song Playing Right Now:
King Britt vs. Michelle Shaprow - If I Lost You

This is off Good Times 3. We had it playing the other day when the sun was out and I was cleaning the patio. Bloody brilliant it were (said as if I was from Ilkley), and it might not be playing right now exactly, but it is in my head. Mmmm, head.

Five Songs I Listen To A Lot, Or That Mean A Lot To Me:
This is a good chance to get in my five top funeral songs, as Beth prompted early this week, ie. five songs that mean a heck of a lot to me. So here goes.

Ride - Vapour Trail
The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize
Radiohead - Where I End And You Begin
LTJ Bukem - Music
The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

What a positive bunch of songs to play when I die! Nice.

Five People To Whom I'm Passing The Baton:
Difficult. You don't have to if you don't want to, but would Queenie, Watski, Bonobo, Babs, and DrD please stand up.

And finally, it's...

The Dog Wash Result

Everybody made me laugh like a demented cow (and if you've ever heard one of them laugh you'll know what I mean), and special mention must go to Witho for attacking the task from both normal and dyslexic perspectives, and to Watski for obviously being on drugs when coming up with his contribution.

But the winner is Mr Greavsie, 48, from London.

"Simple, a 'Dog Wash' is where you stand naked in a cubicle and a big St Bernard wanders in and gives you a good licking all over."

His entry (oo-er!) almost made me laugh and vomit at the same time, and that's never happened before.

Your prize, young sir, shall be an advert for your site right at the top of my sidebar. You can design your own if you want, then mail it to me here. If you don't I'll design one myself. Dimensions are 180px x 180px. I await your mail eagerly...

Oh yeah, and here is your gherkin:



And that's it. If I've forgotten anything please let me know.

I'll write something deep and meaningful tomorrow.
Perhaps.