March 28, 2005

I feel like a new man!


Not really.


But isn't the new decor nice? I'm particularly fond of the orange. Goes just dandily with the turquoise.

There's not been an awful lot happening round here recently, apart from clocks going forward, but I think that happened everywhere, which kind of nullifies the uniqueness of the event. In regards to more intellectual matters, I think I'm going to learn about web programming as well as how to make cupboards. It's something that interests me, and there's a reasonable amount of money in it, so anything that broadens my knowledge and experience base and pays well is a good thing in my book. When I'm done I'm going to be one multi-skilled mofo.

I worked Friday, because I just can't say no. Overtime is, however, always quite useful, and this time it was extraordinarily useful as I got paid TRIPLE TIME! Can't every day be a bank holiday? Please? One day I might get paid enough to not need to do overtime. Pipe dreams, eh. Do they ever come true?

Continuing my theme of showing you lot all the bloody excellent stuff I find on this here interweb thing, I have some more cool bananas for your delectation today. Two things to be precise. But before I divulge my goods, I'd just like to say to everyone who is using a 56k modem, what the hell are you doing?? Sort it out, man! You are living in the dark ages, and unless you really get a lot of pleasure from waiting 45 minutes for a 3-minute video to download, I heartily suggest you upgrade your connection now. I mean, gaaaawd, this is, like, the twenty-first century and all that. Get a bloody move on!

So anyway, firstly we have the new Beck video, E-Pro. This is effectively two things rolled into one, as the song is brilliant and the video is brilliant. Result! Secondly we have a modern classic (which I have been searching for for absolutely fecking ages, and had virtually given up until I stumbled upon it almost completely by accident last night. Oh thankyou God! I can die a happy man now) from Queens Of The Stone Age. It's the video to Go With The Flow, and is yet another example of how it is possible to have a great song and a great video at the same time. Take a moment to enjoy them, and make sure you turn your amp/stereo/shit computer speakers up to maximum to get the full effect. Lovely. And in case you didn't know, there is a link between the two vids. They're both by the same bunch of incredibly clever chaps/lucky bastards (delete as applicable). These fellows are known as Shynola, and are responsible for all sorts of things you've probably definitely seen but wouldn't have had the foggiest unless I hadn't just told you. They did some things for that Nathan Barley program (which I liked because for once it made me laugh at and about London, rather than cry) and have been doing some things for the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy film. Basically, they get about. And I'm very jealous.

I sometimes feel the need for a sing-a-long, so today I shall share the lyrics of a couple of my favourite ever songs with the world. Feel free to join in.

1. Fiddlers Dram - Day Trip To Bangor

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Bangor
A beautiful day, we had lunch on the way and all for under a pound you know
But on the way back I cuddled with Jack and we opened a bottle of cider
Singing a few of our favourite songs as the wheels went around

Do you recall the thrill of it all as we walked along the sea grand
Then on the sand we heard a brass band that played the Diddlely-Bump-Terrara
Elsie and me had one cup of tea then we took a Paddler boat out
Splashing away as we sat on the bay and the wheels went 'round

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Bangor
A beautiful day, we had lunch on the way and all for under a pound you know
But on the way back I cuddled with Jack and we opened a bottle of cider
Singing a few of our favourite songs as the wheels went around

Wasn't it nice, eating chocolate ice as we strolled around the fun-fair
Then we ate eels in big ferris wheels as we sailed around the ground but then
We had to be quick 'cause Elsie felt sick and we had to find somewhere to take her
I said to her lad, what made her feel bad was the wheel going 'round

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Bangor
A beautiful day, we had lunch on the way and all for under a pound you know
But on the way back I cuddled with Jack and we opened a bottle of cider
Singing a few of our favourite songs as the wheels went around

Elsie and me, we finished our tea and said goodbye to the seaside
Got on the bus, Flo said to us, oh isn't it a shame to go
Wouldn't it be grand to have cash on demand and to live like this for always
Oh it makes me feel ill, when I think of the mill and the wheels goin' 'round

Wasn't that pleasant? Time for some more I think.

2. Flanders & Swann - The Gnu Song

A year ago, last Thursday I was strolling in the zoo
when I met a man who though he knew the lot.
He was laying down the law about the habits of Baboons
And how many quills a porcupine has got.
So I asked him: 'What's that creature there?'
He answered: 'Oh, H'it's a H'elk'
I might of gone on thinking that was true,
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame
And remarked: 'I h'aint a H'elk. I'm a Gnu!'

'I'm a Gnu, I'm a Gnu
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
I'm a Gnu, How do you do
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho's
I'm a Gnu, Spelt G-N-U
I'm g-not a Camel or a Kangaroo
So let me introduce,
I'm g-neither man nor moose
Oh g-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu'

I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea
Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne it was actually
And the second night I stayed there I was woken from a dream
That I'll tell you all about some other time
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed
Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew;
A Bison? No, it's not a Bison. An Okapi? Unlikely, Really. A Hartebeest?
When I though I heard a voice: 'I'm a Gnu!'

I'm a Gnu, ,A g-nother gnu
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you!
I'm a Gnu, How do you do
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho.
I'm a Gnu Spelt G-N-U,
Call me Bison or Okapi and I'll sue
G-nor am I the least
Like that dreadful Hartebeest,
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no,
G-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu
G-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu

It's very G-nice of you.

Well that really was quite spiffing don't you think? Takes me back to the heady days of youth, the days when I wasn't afraid to admit that I thought Ivor The Engine was pretty cool, and the days when, even though I didn't have the faintest idea who Benny Hill was, I could be 100% confident in my belief that Ernie definitely drove the fastest milkcart in the west. I even remember thinking that jigsaws were a top notch way to pass the time. We live and we learn don't we?

Here's something that took my fancy.
She must go through shitloads of Pantene.

And last but not least, what does it say about you when, completely subconsciously, you redecorate your website in the same colours as your trainers?


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