March 19, 2005

Be Inspired

I'm feeling saucy and I want the whole world to be saucy too. Invariably though, the world isn't. I can't but try, eh? So seeing as I am constantly surrounded and inspired by funky, stimulating and fascinating art/music/design/film (delete as applicable), I feel that it is only right to keep bombarding whoever may care to read this shit with loads of top quality material. Aren't I nice? I recently purchased an excellent digital versatile disk for my lovely lady, which was made by a company called onedotzero. You may have heard of them, you may not. They deal in cutting edge film and animation, and seem to feel that it is their mission to let the whole world know that there are a lot of talented people out there. Well, now I'm here to help too. I'm gonna do my best to find all the stuff on the DVD for you! So firstly, check out these guys. From the link go to Nakd - Fly, then sit back and enjoy. After that, I'd like you to have a look at this. You need to search a bit, but hidden away in all the Flash mumbo jumbo (top notch mumbo jumbo, mind) is a thing called Drummachine. It's utterly brilliant, and I haven't a fucking clue how they do it. Okay, that's a lie. I do have a bit of an idea. But bugger me, it's still bloody entertaining. Next, check this out. It's called What Barry Says, it's a bit topical, political, what have you, as well as generally a bit swish. I like! Up next we have Plates Animation, whoever they are. Look at the Mogwai video. The quality of the download ain't all that, but the work is right up there, so stop your whinging. Gits.

I tried to find the Fat Bros video by +Cruz, Peng, Fan but had no luck, so have included a picture for you instead (left). This one isn't on the thingy, but I'm putting it in anyway cos I like it. For those of you who don't understand the internet, click on the thing that says WATCH MOVIE. The bloke who did it is called Dan Chambers, and he has an animation called Tube Mice on the onedotzero DVD. He's obviously a somewhat talented chap methinks.

Lastly, something not on the DVD, and yes, it's another Chemical Brothers/Michel Gondry collaboration. It's old but it's great. And again, I've really honestly not got the foggiest fuckin' idea how you would even go about starting organising this kind of thing. I mean blimey, I have trouble with Blogger and Photoshop. In this instance I'll keep doing what I do best (what is that exactly Timothy?) and leave the other stuff to the professionals. It's for the best.

Now, I don't know if you've ever seen a site called Ebola Monkey Man, but I have and it's very funny, if slightly politically incorrect (it is American, so there you go). The basic premise revolves around those ridiculously lame scam emails that get randomly sent out from somewhere deep in the heart of the Gambia, begging you to help them give you lots of money. The bloke who developed the site got sick of all these crap emails so decided to email back and lead the scammers up the garden path. It's great, it really is. Some of the funniest stuff on the net. And there's lots of it, so if you're going to have a read be warned, it's not something you can skim.

Anyway, the point of me telling you all this, is that yesterday (DRUM ROLL!!) I received my first ever scam email!! I can't tell you how stupidly happy I was. I'm still so happy I think I'll share it with you:

Dear Beloved,

Calvary greetings in the precious name of our lord Jesus christ.
Beloved, i sincerely plead with you not to take offence with me for my attitudeof asking for your assistance, i believe that the Lord will surely reward you as the bible says in Gal 6:10"As we have there fore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the house hold of faith"

I am Kodila Basungama Julien,from the republic of congo Kinshasa.
I am an orphan that grew up in kinshasa and i decided to travel to Burkinafaso for a better standard life.
I got to Burkinafaso and i began to work as a steward in the house of a great politician called pierre badiel.
My boss became very successful and finally left politics to relocate with the entire famil to Norway.
In Norway i found favor in the sight of my boss, he sent me to school and took care of me like his own biological son.
I was everybody favourite,and this was due to my commitment in fellowship with the almighty GOD, as i am a devoted Christian since i received JESUS CHRIST as my personal lord and savior in the year 1980.
My boss became very sick, and was diagnose with the cancer of the lungs,this sickness lasted for 7 years and he finally died last year on the 9th of oct.(may his soul dwell in perfect peace) On the 5th of janauary very big lawyer of my boss came from Africa, to disclose the will of my boss to everyone.
To my greatest surprise half of his will was allocated to me. He gave me his money that amounted to millions of dollars and some wonderful properties in Africa.
But i was not too happy because the money was too much for me alone, so i suggested to my boss wife that half of the funds should go for her and her children and the rest for me.
My beloved little did i know that the wife of my boss family and some other relatives of my boss are planning to kill me. All of a sudden i became there enemy.
They told me that i have bewitched my boss and that am a wizard, that i have spiritually charmed him, and that was why he gave me half of his will.
I was then advised to leave the premises for savety,the lawyer called me on the telephone and asked me if I am ready to go through the process of receiving my inheritance, I declined and i told him all that the inheritancehad caused.
The lawyer told me to be strong and courageous and advised me to stand for my right.
He made me to understand that that everything is in the power of his hands,that he can give me what rightly belongs to me, the documents of the properties and some vital informations about the funds,where they are located and all are in the power of his hands.
But the lawyer advised me to put the funds in my fathers account or in the account of my relative for a while for security reasons.
I have confessed and I told him my life history, that i dont know who my parents are nether do I know any relative, but i promised the lawyer that I will get someone and then get back to him.
I told some of my close friends to please help and receive the fund, but they are afraid and they said that the money is too much for them to keep in there account.
I therefore did not stop there, I took another step of faith to put it in writing and to send it to as many people as i can on the internet until i get someone who is ready to help.
I need someone to help keep this funds for a while, I need someone that will help me walk with the lawyer to secure this inheritance.
But i need a man full of love and sincerity, an upright man filled with the wisdom of GOD.
If you are in that category please indicate by replying my mail and if you are not, please dont reply me.

N.B please note that if i dont reply your mail after a week, it means that i have found someone to help me.

Thanks for taking your time to read my mail.

GOD bless u real good.

Julien Kodila.

A bit long isn't it? But all worth it for that closing line. GOD bless u real good! I almost wet myself. Soooooo.... Should I email him in an Ebola Monkey Man stylee? Or should I tell him to fuck off? Or is he a good honest God-fearing chap who I should help out?

If anyone has an opinion, I'd like to hear it.

In other news, I think we may have sold one of the TV's. Some bloke called Marvin who lives in Kemp Town wants it, and also wants me to deliver it. He said he'll pay extra if I do. Apparently he doesn't get out much and has no transport, so as it's not far, and what with me being the kind and generous pillar of the community that I am... well, it's the least I can do. But I must say that it does seem slightly weird. I mean, it's not that far away, and buses go up that way all the time. So I'm going in the middle of the afternoon when there'll actually be people about (as long as someone can hear my screams I stand a good chance of being rescued). I'm also gonna be packing my trusty pepper spray, and I'll make sure that I have snipers positioned on the roofs of the buildings opposite to take Marvin out if he tries to endanger my life. Just in case like.

I'd also quickly like to apologise to Crumb and Bonobo, AKA The Mighty Love. I'm rather slow on the uptake these days, and so am currently deliberating over when to get concerned about possibly giving a toss about updating my sidebar links. I will/may do it eventually, but can't promise anything, so here's your link lads. Anyone who hasn't read these guys yet, GO THERE NOW. It's good ganja.

Finally, the bunny had her nails trimmed, ears, eyes, tummach and teeth checked, and her bum cleaned by the vet today. She's in fine fettle (is that how you spell it?), and the vet referred to her as "a fine looking beast" which, we can whole-heartedly concur, she most certainly is. The receipt for the visit, however, did make me chuckle:

A manicure? For a bunny? Only in Brighton could this happen...


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