January 20, 2005


I just wrote this post, took sodding ages over it, and then Blogger decided it would fuck up completely, so has deleted the whole bastard lot. I'm not happy and have quickly been reminded what I very much dislike about blogging on Blogger. Ho hum.

Anyhow, back to the subject. We have a winner! Competition time has finally reached it's conclusion, and the jury, after eleven hot and sweaty nights of deliberation, argument and mud wrestling have finally reached a decision.
Yes, I shit you not.

Thankyou for all your bizarre guesses (and they were guesses, as none of you had a clue who the song was by), which made me snigger and titter to myself. Beth was disqualified early on for offering Keane as an answer (bad idea, very bad idea), and for the longest time Blue Witch's guess of Frank Sinatra was in the lead, but despite all this there can only be one winner, and that is Creepy Lesbo with Madame Cholet from the Wombles!

In a perfect world that is blatantly who the song would be sung by, but this is in no way a perfect world, and in this reality the song, despite appearing to be not dissimilar to a steaming bucket of afterbirth, is actually the handiwork of RUB ULTRA. Remember that name. They're shite. The only reason I own this record is because I went through a phase in my late teens when I thought it would be a good idea to randomly buy singles on the off chance that I might pick up a hidden gem or two. Which I did, Sour Times by Portishead, months before Dummy was released being one example. But I also picked up some total crap. Like this. You win some, you lose some. I haven't yet destroyed it because the lyrics are hilarious and make me laugh like a twat. One day it's time will come, that I know.

So well done Creepy Lesbo! I will arrange a prize of sorts for you. God knows what it will be, but give me a week and I'm sure to come up with some old crap.

And cheers Santa. The telly rocks. Geezer.

Finally, I hear that some clever git has invented a super mega jumbo jet than can carry 850 passengers, has a wingspan of 90 metres, has numerous bars, a gym, a creche, a restaurant, and a shitload of double beds! Brilliant, or so it seems. Despite all this us plebs in economy only get an extra inch of legroom to stretch out in (dump the gym and creche I say), and all the airports it's going to fly into are having to widen their runways. Heathrow alone is having to spend over £450 million to do this. £450 million! And it's hardly any more economically or environmentally friendly than what's in the air at the moment. PLUS just imagine what the scene will look like if one of these bad boys crashes with a full quota of holidaymakers. Not pretty.

So I'm not sure about it. What do you think though? Big plane good? Or big plane bad?

This is not a big plane.


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