November 09, 2004


There are a fair number of pointless things out there. All-bran seems pretty pointless. All those NOW! That's What I Call Music albums, they're pointless. Miniature asparagus and carrots that you can only get at Waitrose and Marks and Sparks. Girls Aloud. Odd socks. Adam Sandler movies. The majority of my working life, at present, is seemingly pointless. And Ring, the american version, is, I gather, utterly without a point. Therefore pointless. I mean, the film already exists! Why make another one? Oh those poor Americans. It's so hard to sit down for a couple of hours and read some subtitles isn't it? So rather than assume that the audience may know how to read and are reasonably learned, lets spend fifty million squiddlies and, err, pretend that nothing exists beyond our coastline.
But hey, I do seem to have a bit of a hang-up with Americans at the moment. It's not all of you! I promise! Just some. And it's not just you guys that are rubbish. We Brits are awful too. Two words. Harry Potter. What the fuck is that all about???? Utter waste of everybodys time I think. In twenty years who's going to give a shit, eh? Not me. And not you. Yeah you. And Japanese people do pointless things too, like get loads of little pictures taken in booths that print the picture out on stickers with little cartoon animals and the like on them. Dull dull dull. Totally without merit. And they can do duff films too. Ring 2 (there's a trend developing here). What the hell was going on there?? I'll tell you what. Money was falling in great big clods in to the lap of the film company executives who thought it would be a good way make a quick buck. And they were right, but god, was it pointless. Pile of poo film. Shame too, as the first one was great.

Upsettingly, the family hoover is nearing the end of it's days. In an innocuous series of totally normal events, ie. I hoovered the floor a couple of times, it seems to have developed a fatal disease and is now on it's last legs! Somewhat depressing. If I move the cable in slightly the wrong direction it dies. Then I move the cable in the other direction and it miraculously springs back into life. I am the Re-Animator!! Sparks came out of it tonight. Surely not a good sign. So I'm resigned to the fact that I have to act all practical and adult, therefore I will not be asking for Lego this Christmas. No sirree, my wishlist is as follows:

  • 1.) Dyson.
  • 2.) Dishwasher (or Dyson).
  • 3.) Fridge/Freezer (or maybe a Dyson)
  • 4.) Shoe Rack (No, wait, already have one of them. How about a Dyson?)
  • 5.) Years supply of Mars Bar ice creams

That's about it. Not a lot to ask I think.

I read a very good thing on someone else's site last night. It really was good. And it involved Madonna albums. So I am inspired. My plan is to review all of REM's albums, track by track, and work out which album is best by tallying all the scores at the end. I have a feeling that their latest effort may well come out bottom of the heap. Being the total stinking pile of doo-doo that it is. But we shall see. I may be surprised. Doubtful, but I may be.

Lastly (as it is late and I desperately need a bath and some sleep, and I can't stay here talking to this computer forever) I must mention the bunyip. Our rabbit-type companion is at present the cutest and most loved-up animal I've ever seen. Hope, for it is she, regularly romps around like a brain-addled lunatic on speed, darting around legs and chairs, rolling over on the floor, stretching out to the full length of her body - arms and legs stretched fully out in front and behind - and yawning in that special way that only bunnies can yawn. She is generally ace. And despite being a certified 'Poo Machine', she is still the sweetest little person in the world. I recommend bunny ownership to everyone. Just make sure you love the little one, and stroke it's nose and forehead, and give it lots of hay. The secret to a happy rabbit.

Okay, I have to go or else I'm a dead man. Au revoir.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have to agree with you about the dreadful Potter phenomenon.

Sarsparilla /

6:00 pm  

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