November 29, 2004

Music on a Monday


Help me o lord, for I must have sinned. That is the only possible explanation for my walking around all day yesterday with Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush and (somebody help me) Faith by George Michael in my head. VH1 has a lot to answer for. Endless replays of True by Spandau Ballet and Purple Rain by Prince are just the tip of the iceberg young man. Today, joy of joys, I have Ordinary World by Duran Duran bouncing around my noggin. Whether this aberation is due to VH1 is debatable; it's surely far too modern for them. It's still really fucking annoying though, and I'd prefer it if it just buggered off. Right now please.

I've decided that this site is not going to be used as a political forum - unless I really fancy it - so there'll be no more big articles and what have you from now on. This however, doesn't mean that I don't watch the news or read stuff, because I do. I'm well educated I am. And just to prove it here's a thing I had thrust at me the other day. How fucked up is this? The dude looks totally different! I am NEVER going to run for Prime Minister of the Ukraine, just in case.

I also said the other day that I would keep you all updated with my job-hunting. Well how's this? One interview. One job. That's that then. All reasonably pleasing I'm sure you'll agree. The job isn't the most amazingly fantastically brilliantastic one in the whole world, but it's okay, it's a job, and I don't have to panic like an overly-flapping flappy armed flapper in an extremely-upset-seal impersonation contest anymore.

I'm sure that you've all noticed, and believe me when I say that I feel extremely guilty about not being fully on the ball, but yes, the
Great REM Album Event has been slightly delayed this week. I would have done it at the weekend but I had far more important matters to attend to; namely the beautiful Charlotte, sleep, and spring-cleaning (somewhat early, I know) the patio. I shall be bringing you the third installment of the GRAE either this week or at the weekend, I promise. Until then you'll have to make do with me ranting at you about nothing in particular.

I said I cleaned the patio, but that's not the half of it. I also had the wondeful non-pleasure of cleaning out the rabbit hutch. Great! The hutch has been untouched, unlived-in, and outside in the cold wet British autumn weather since late September, when the landlord got the roofers in, the scaffolding went up, and we decided that it would preferable if the Poo Machine didn't run the risk of getting a large chunk of slate and/or a suicidal scaffolding pole in the back, because that wouldn't be nice would it? So the bunny was retired to the lounge. The hutch, however, wasn't so lucky and got trapped, jammed if you will, betwixt a maze of scaffolding platform supports. The poor dear. If it had been possible for me to open the door to it but a few inches I would have. Sadly this was not the case, so the hutch has been sat there ominously for the last 2 months; straw, sawdust, newspaper, and rabbit wee and poo festering, congealing and going mouldy. So it was with mixed emotions that I greated the sight of the scaffolding being removed a week or so ago. I was happy because it meant we could actually go outside again, but also sad, because I knew at some point I would have to clean the fucking hutch out. In trepidation I stepped into the breach, dustpan and brush in hand. If I'd had surgical gloves in the house I would have worn them, but I didn't, so with trembling bare hands I tackled the gloopy mess. I'd love to say it was fun, but it wasn't. The newspaper had gone rancid, the poos grey and mouldy, and all was cold and wet and disgusting. Horrible. Cleaning the bunny's litter tray is bad enough when you're warm inside and it's only been there a day or so, but when you, and the poo, are cold outside, and it's been there for two months... Well, you get the idea.

All this, and I had to dress up as an eskimo twice! But whereas cleaning up shit was not enjoyable at all, being an eskimo was actually fun, if a little warm, and I was very convincing even if I say so myself. If you're really lucky, and if I can get my better half's permission (this was all her doing!) I may post a picture on here at some point. The things I do for you...

And the picture on the right, in case you were wondering, is not me.

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