November 18, 2004

Hot Dogger

As you may or may not be aware, an old woman, possibly of disrepute, sat right plum on top of my bag while I was quietly reading on the bus home yesterday. Amusing, non? Well, no, actually. Downright annoying in the first degree, actually. She didn't even have the courtesy to either get up, so that I could rescue my belongings from the grasp of her bony old buttocks, or to apologise for dumping her load (for wont of a better phrase) all over my precious knapsack. I only mentioned this phenomenon the other day, in relation to London. Well, obviously this is no longer just
a London ting. The whole world is in on this evil 'bum-bagging' activity. Or should that be 'bag-bumming'? I shall start a petition. I'll go on strike! They'll pay for their acts of wanton destruction! But I shall never be reduced to sitting on other peoples bags. That would be silly.

I've as yet had no response to the I Hate Keane proposal. Either they are more loved and adored than I am aware of, or they've managed to put you all to sleep with their uninspirational dross, mere seconds before you were due to voice your malcontent. Bastards! I will keep this offer open indefinitely, so come on, I want to hear your anger! Give me bile!

I am angry today aren't I? It's probably because I am tired. Yes, I know, that crap excuse. But a working day of 9am-8pm is not much fun, especially on the back of 5 hours sleep, so pity me. Sob sob pfft! I cry. I just saw a robot car dancing on telly. Good stuff. Looked like a Transformer. I used to have loads of them, Optimus Prime, Megatron, Hot Rod. Dinobots, remember them? I would love to have all my old toys right here right now. Playtime revisited! I remember having bizarre battles in the back garden, or in your friends back garden, with Action Man toys and Star Wars figures. Being a kid was great. I wish I could remember those really fun years in more clarity. All I have is the odd snippet, and quite vague snippets at that. Christ, I can hardly remember last week, how am I supposed to remember to when I was 8? I hope the memories don't fade completely the older I get. That would be sad. I want to always be able to recollect those important times. And I don't think there are any photos anywhere of all those games and playtimes. Why couldn't somebody invent digital cameras or mobile phone cameras twenty years ago? Ah well.

My aim over the next 3 years is to become a carpenter. Like Jesus but not as holy. I have a plan, but if anyone has, or knows of any good books regarding this most ancient of trades, I would appreciate any information you can throw my way. I would look on Amazon but I can't be arsed.


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